Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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