After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
