Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
