two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
