if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
