finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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