Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
