We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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