What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize