dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
