I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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