She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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