Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
