I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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