shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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