Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
