pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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