mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We are all done wearing pants today
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize