Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
