I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
