No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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