I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
