shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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