I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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