Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize