bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
