Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
