batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
