opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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