..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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