so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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