I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
