I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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