Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
