I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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