she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
