his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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