I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
