he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
