He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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