I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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