what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
