I want to make a zoo with you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
