I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
