I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
