I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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