I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm at about main and main street
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
