I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
