I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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