Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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