Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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