There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
