Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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