Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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