Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
