Banned from zoo.
Again?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
