I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
