I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
