My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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