I must be too annoying 4 u.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
