yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I still have a little drunk in my system
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
