I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
