ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
