wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
