ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There's always time for handjobs
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
