If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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