So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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